'Famous' in a son's eyes

“You’re not going to be famous anymore, Daddy?”

The words from my son ripped a hole in my soul. He was contemplating the mass layoffs that had been announced at my newspaper in June, and the end of his father’s journalism career come Oct. 1.

Being a journalist made me cool to my son. During our talk that morning, he told me that he liked to tell his friends I was a reporter and that I covered murder trials. They always were impressed, he said.

“You’re not going to be famous anymore, Daddy?”

Those words continue to haunt me this week as my lingering layoff ends and with it a career I love. Being a journalist is who I am – whether it’s telling stories of people’s worst moments, dissecting a matter of great public importance or writing a restaurant review about some chef’s triumphant food.

I’ve always said your career either defines you or is a means to an end for your real passion in life. My sense of self – and how others perceived me – was wrapped in what I did for a living and the subjects I covered.

Without that, what am I? Who am I? Guess I’m about to find out.

Now, I wasn’t famous by any stretch. But I got to know a lot of people, witness spectacular and whacky moments and chronicle historic, disastrous and bone-chilling events. I felt journalism was my form of public service. Many reporters my age were inspired by “All The President’s Men,” and the investigative reporting that brought down Richard Nixon. I got into journalism to help people understand the world around them and society in which they live; to help inform the electorate.

I’m going to miss the compelling stories and interesting people I covered. I’m going to miss having an authoritative understanding of the key events that confront our community and the forum to help readers understand it as well. I will miss the rich storytelling opportunities my court beat offered. And yes, I will miss the adrenalin rush of chasing down a breaking story and publishing it.

I hope Oct. 1 brings a new beginning, a new opportunity in my new career as writer, researcher and gastronome.

But most of all, I hope that my son’s admiration does not fade, now that his Daddy no longer is “famous.”